found myself here. muse&skip.

i am lady at that quarter-life-hollow-me-out-soul-seeking-searching-cross-roads. though aware that i am not a lone soul who has these forever feelings of restlessness. i am not comforted by the fact that anyone else is. i work at a job that pays the bills. i all day consider. consider my next path of action toward my dreaming. then spend all afternoon in flux procrastination.

i am noticing with increasingly regularity the lines on my neck. the furrows between my eyes. and the crows feet fighting through. however imaginary; i have googled botox. have thought about saving for future facelifts. have moved from the ‘youth’ cosmetic department. have tentatively enquired on wrinkle prevention. and maintaining a ‘youthful suppleness’. “it’s for my mum”. where once everything was fitted and streamline. i am noticing a cardigan and chino trend slowly infiltrating and swallowing all clothed brightness with blacks, navy and creams.

my university degree[s] and hecs debt that taunts reflect none of what i ever hope to be or achieve. i often wonder whether any of what i pained over at uni will ever have any real world relevance for me or whether i was just a hoop-jumping lamb like the rest. baaaaaaaaaaaa.

i am in love. a bearded man made me wife. he continues to quietly sneak and steal into my thoughts while i [shallowly] fight to have them back. i love this love but i graffiti my own white picket fence with predictable confusion and unbaited restlessness. he buys me unwavering sanity through kisses and tightening of hinges.

i live for nephew giggles. sister cups of tea. brotherly enthusiasm. sales. wine. beer. alcohol. travel. mid-week soirees and stealing paid weekends away. as well as the usual; music, daisies, sunshine, festivals, summer. and puppy dog tails.

i am trying to figure out me and what to be before regret. this is part of that. and this. i can’t tell you where it will take me. or you. x